as a principle maybe, i watch my side of the court - i know i can't mind how ppl act / react, i know i can't control anything but what i can.. whats on my side of the fence - so i can care as much as i can, i can give as much as i can, i have to do as much as i feel responsible for - because thats all that i'm in control of doing, and as far as i can live with myself.
i can make it a point to guard the borders of this area, that whatever's within its field remains there securely; make it a point not to display things out into the open and let the mess spill out, just because i have it in my control to deal with it in a way that wouldnt be embarassing. within this sphere of space i know that most things can only bug me as far as i let them. because its under my charge, i dont sympathy or intervention - i appreciate it sure, and i proly need it, but i dont need to wash my linen in public. ultimately, it will be my serve.
as much as this attitude dominates most of the time tho, i have had times where i've gotten angry, the kind of angry that makes you blind. i become irrepressibly blindingly enraged, i feel like screaming, exploding, pulling myself apart, end up stomping off into a hundred different nowheres..it makes me go crazy. and its unreasonable and it makes no sense and it usually happens with ppl i care about the most.
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